3 reviews
I have a feeling you know your story well, but it's not coming across in the above logline. ?Maybe try reworking it in this format: ?When (inciting incident) happens, (Protagonist) must (goal) before (stakes if he fails.)
As Nir said, this is confusing. If the army is the ones asking the honor bound pilot to complete a mission, why would they then turn around and court marshal him?
To do what?
Without a specific goal, the plot is unclear.
In addition best to specify a single event that brought about them being on the brink of defeat - an inciting incident.