ON THE BRINK OF DEFEAT, THE ARMY TURNS TO AN HONOR BOUND PILOT TO RISK COURT-MARTIAL AND THE LIVES OF HIS CREW.

3 reviews

Solace1016 476 pts

I have a feeling you know your story well, but it's not coming across in the above logline. ?Maybe try reworking it in this format: ?When (inciting incident) happens, (Protagonist) must (goal) before (stakes if he fails.)

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

As Nir said, this is confusing. If the army is the ones asking the honor bound pilot to complete a mission, why would they then turn around and court marshal him?

Neer Shelter 55,464 pts

To do what?

Without a specific goal, the plot is unclear.

In addition best to specify a single event that brought about them being on the brink of defeat - an inciting incident.