Jesus is alive…but the Church wants him dead

Ortus

13 reviews

AHStitt Penpusher · 95 pts

Very alluring logline. I can think of 50 possible stories. Which one is it? Intrigue and mayhem. I want to read the synopsis.

Presario2200 Penpusher · 180 pts

I can tell you that from what I am reading now, this is an attack on Christianity in general and the Church specifically. The Catholic League will have alot to say about it.

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wow. At least the logline is getting lively ones even the funny ones. No, it's not a comedy. Neither is it telling a story of a long-haired man wearing a white nightie and carrying a cross. It's a modern-day, deeply psychological 3-parter for TV.

jonnyone 0 pts

I love the idea of this being a comedy. But do agree with the need to flesh out the logline. I love the premise and the instant attraction it brings, leaves you wanting to know so much more.

Perhaps you could work in why they want him dead?
Those that love him actually hate him - have they only ever used exploited him as a brand? is Jesus the Ronald McDonald of the Church?

I have to say @Valentin "Miracles are not what they used to be" made me laugh out loud

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

What you have is a tag line rather than a logline.

Jesus is back, teaching peace. The Church doesn't want to learn.
Jesus was a hit. The church has hit men.
He came in peace. Too bad for him.
Jesus is back. His cross want him back.
Second coming. Third death.
Miracles are not what they used to.
From the Cloak of religion to the daggers of the churches.

You need to flesh more your logline.
Is it a comedy, a drama, a thriller?

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

@Michael.

Latin

Participle
ortus m (feminine orta, neuter ortum); first/second declension

risen