In a world where a new species of human suffers discrimination and containment, a young and erratic Control Officer for the Registry meets a sadistic yet charming bi-species man and builds a partnership that threatens to expose the lies at the foundation of the organization?s operations.

Lies Told

26 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>> the agent, Rove, and the crime boss, Lux, both men, are in a romantic relationship.

Outed! The major twist in your "B" story.

Since I had to ferret it through multiple postings, I'm guessing you're apprehensive that it's a killer concept, in a negative sense. Seems you've got a dilemma: drop the card in the logline or drop it in the pitch. Tough call. The times are a-changin' and I hope production companies and I hope programming execs are open to it. Best wishes.

Adopted Axiom 0 pts

>>The federal agent is human. His name is Rove.

The crime boss is half-human, half-nothos. His name is Lux.

Rove and Lux have a business arrangement where they exchange information?Rove offers Lux a heads up about certain government activities, and Lux helps Rove take out other criminals?and they are also lovers. <<

So, yes, the agent, Rove, and the crime boss, Lux, both men, are in a romantic relationship.

I've done some more checking into loglines written specifically for television, and they're actually much broader than film loglines in scope, and don't really identify a grand stake--like the extinction of the human race would be--most of the time. Instead they're more of a general setup, with maybe implied stakes and goals.

At any rate, I'm going to continue working on this and may reply tomorrow or so with an updated revision.

Thank you for all of your help!

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

>>I feel like things are getting a bit jumbled

Yes.

>>The designated romantic interest? is actually the crime boss.

You mean the nothos partner has a romantic interest for the crime boss? Because you say, the boss is male. Or are you going for a gay subtext between the protagonist and the antagonist?

>> I didn?t really have a definite stakes in mind when I wrote the first logline.

Upon reading the 1st iteration of your logline, I imagined the nothos to be more than a loathsome nuisance. I could see them as an invasive, competitive species. Just as we, Homo sapiens, were a competitive species vis-a-vis Homo Neanderthal -- and we won the Darwin games.

Ergo, the stakes are the survival of our species.