In a secret facility, a headstrong computer scientist developing microchips implanted in the brains of test animals fears that she might be a subject in a similar experiment on humans.

"After the lead scientist dies, a gifted biomechanic is hired to test mind controlling microchips in animals but when she begins to black out, she fears she might be the actual test subject."

From your reply it sounds like the "...series of cryptic visions..." is the inciting incident not being recruited. The technical reason for this is her being recruited to lead a team didn't force her to change anything nor was it out of the ordinary presumably she would have been recruited regardless.

But as inciting incidents go a cryptic vision needs context to have the impact an inciting incident needs. A biblical character who sees a vision from a deity would change the course of their lives to pursue answers but a modern day scientist would likely see a psychiatrist. What in the vision was it that made her suddenly take such drastic action? How did the visions tie into a personal aspect of her life?

As for her goal wanting to be known for doing something will make it hard to establish a quantifiable measure for its success. As a result the goal is not visual the reader can't envisage an obligatory scene. Can you re define her goal more specifically in a way that it could be shot by a camera?

Hope this helps.

Hey all this is extremely helpful! Galgamesh you are exactly right that this is in line with The Conversation, The Game, also Shutter Island.

The inciting incident: She is recruited to replace the lead engineer on the team.
Her goal: She is ambitious. She wants to be known for creating a technology that revolutionizes the human race.

Here is another try:

An ambitious computer-scientist is recruited to lead a team developing revolutionary microchips tested in the brains of animals. But a series of cryptic visions cause her to fear that she is a subject in the experiment.