Former lovers Jane and Sarah risk their physical safety to fulfill their dream of publicly performing a dance which includes a nearly impossible lift that was banned 30 years ago due to the ?dangerous lifestyle? it promoted.

Great to hear you have firsthand experience with the country in the film--lucky. The scenery is such a critical element of this film, especially when it is contrasted with Ennis succession of desperately dingy apartments and the brittle glitter of Jake's house.

Yes, but that's just fired them up. :)

Well, they identified themselves as cowboys, not as sheepherders.

Having grown up in the west and worked a memorable summer herding cattle in rugged high range country, living off the land in a remote log cabin w/out electricity and other amenities, I can say with some knowledge that if they could have found work with cattle, they would have not have herded sheep. Sheep herding was work done by immigrant labor, primarily Basques at that time. That's how low their status and prospects were, that they, American boys, had to settle for herding sheep.

[And, yes, I have notes for a story based upon that summer.]

Proulx lives in the country she wrote about: her story was keenly observed and thoroughly researched. It brought back s-o-o many memories of place and period.

Pretty sure they were sheepherders... probably originally from Oklahoma :) (Sorry, living in Texas, gotta say that)

Truly inspiring comments dpg. Many thanks.

Almiiitey,

It seems to me this a story about a couple's struggle to dare to love despite all the emotional hazards and very real physical dangers. In that sense, it's a variant of the classic Romeo & Juliet template of star-crossed lovers. As is the story of "Brokeback Mountain". The short story was written by one of America's finest short story writers, Annie Proulx, adapted for the screen by 2 of the most respected and connected people in Hollyweird, Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana. And they couldn't get the script produced for 7 years!

It acquired the tagline of "a story about gay cowboys" -- it was very difficult to come with a logline with a hook that would get the script read, let alone produced. Because, among other things, the heartbeat of the story is emotional while loglines are supposed to be about actions.

I scanned loglines for "Brokeback Mountain" at sites like RottenTomatoes and IMDB and they utterly fail to capture the emotional hook of the story. Can a logline do that? I find the standard formula for loglines problematical when it comes to stories like "Brokeback Mountain" whose dramatic essence is relationship and emotion -- the "B" and "C" stories, so to speak, not so much an "A" story.

And the standard formula may be problematical for your story. Be that as it may, Larry McMurtry, wrote that "I was stunned when I read 'Brokeback Mountain' because I realized that it was a story that that had been sitting there all my life...waiting in the patient distance for someone to write it." Likewise, as I read your logline and your remarks (particularly about the death of the gay boy) I am stunned: I think this story has been sitting out there all your life...waiting in the patient distance for someone to write it.

fwiw

Dear dpg,

Thanks for your feedback.

Almiiitey,

Thanks for the clarification. The male experience of gay repression in small town/rural American was told in "Brokeback Mountain". Time to tell a story of the female experience. I think your premise is rich with ideas and values worth exploring; the story can go in many directions.

Yes, I agree the complications of the two women doing the dance after all these years will create many ripples in their other relationships that present obstacles the two have to overcome that will help them reconnect.

I was thinking of focusing the main conflict between Sarah and Jane. Once they have resolved the "us against the world" conflicts there is still the murky mess of Sarah's abandonment of Jane. Until she can acknowledge the pain and waste she has caused by playing it safe they will never truly reunite in any meaningful way. When they resolve this conflict, the dance becomes more a celebration of how they can be together in present rather than an "in your face" public spectacle.

Dear dpg,

Had not considered having them perform the dance at the college reunion--had just thought about them meeting there after 30 years--interesting idea I will explore in the writing. Thanks dpg and Richiev for the nudge in that direction.

You asked, "Wasn?t the love affair clandestine, given the temper of the times?" I'm not sure I can portray the discrimination the girls experience if I keep their affair too closeted. If they are afraid of others knowing, I don't think they would choose to dance publicly.

I thought I might get more mileage by starting the two out as innocent lovers who are fairly open about their affair and who are young enough to think that their dance will "change the world." This plan backfires and ramps up the hatred and discrimination they face to the point that, by the time the dance is banned, Sarah has realized the cost of this relationship may be more than she handle and she decides to "play it safe" and end the affair. The cost of playing it safe is the theme I had planned to explore.

Why haven't they met for 30 years? I thought Jane might attend the reunions every year hoping to see Sarah and Sarah staying away for fear of seeing Jane. I envision Sarah experiencing a death of someone close to her and realizing that life is too short to live with regrets. That gives her just enough courage to risk attending the reunion.

Thanks Almiitey for the clarification

How about the lead's daughter/granddaughter is gay but afraid to come out because of bullying. This prompts the lead to recall the earlier story as well as give her motivation to recreate the dance after all these years.

Can they stop them from attending their own reunion? Would they even try after all these years? And why would anyone even try to stop them from attending? Wasn't the love affair clandestine, given the temper of the times?

One way the story unreeled in my mind was that [backstory/flashbacks] because of the bigotry -- and the brutal murder of the gay boy -- the 2 girls had been "boycotting" the class reunions all these years. It's been their choice not to go.

But when it's time for the 30th anniversary reunion [inciting incident] they decide to go, to defiantly dance as a couple [objective goal] in order to make their classmates confront the past (including the 3 perps who got off easy) -- and [subjective goal] maybe achieve some kind of closure.

[Complications] But the reunion is fraught with all kinds of emotional peril. They will be outing themselves to their classmates after all these years. And outing themselves to their husbands (whom I presume as an added complication will attend -- they will insist on going). And to their kids, who will eventually find out.

But almiiitey may have something else in mind.

Thanks Richiev for logline revision suggestion--it pushes the story into areas I had not considered.

I had intended to contrast the discrimination the two women faced 30 years ago with the present which is hopefully a bit more enlightened. If the school allowed them to perform the dance 30 years ago why would they face discrimination in the future?

How about something like this:
-----
"After their school prohibits them from attending their reunion because of their former lifestyle, two ex-lovers sneak back into the reunion to recreate their now infamous dance they performed thirty years ago"
-----

Richiev, a college class reunion causes them to get back together. In classic romance style, they realize they have "unfinished business" and want to find a way to reunite. The twist is they are bi-sexual and both have been very happily married to men for many years. So their motivation to recreate the dance is two-fold--to correct a past injustice and to find a non-romantic way to reconnect with each other.

Should also note that Sarah decides to play it safe, turn her back on Jane, and do her best to "play it straight." The story is designed to be her journey to discover just how much damage that decision has caused.

Hi dpg,

Yes, their age is part of the risk--they were 20 when they met and in peak physical training. They are now 50 and have not trained in many years. To correct the injustice of not being able to perform the dance 30 years ago they feel obligated to recreate it in exact detail but it will be physically risky to do so.

Hi Richiev,

The lift is the most physically dangerous part of the dance but is not in and of itself Prohibidado. The dance was banned because it portrayed two women dancing together romantically and was considered to promote an unnatural, dangerous lifestyle.

Thirty years ago AIDS had just been identified as a new disease and was considered by many to be God's punishment for homosexuality. Around the same time, in my home state of Maine, a man was thrown off a bridge for being gay--he died. The three teenage boys who murdered him were given very light sentences. Two hundred mourners who came out to protest his death and were mocked and threatened. Later someone spray painted "fags jump here" on the bridge.

Does their age having something to do with the risk? (How old are they?)

Is there an event that causes them to get back together and try the lift now?

Was the lift Prohibidado?