Ed Noble?s world falls apart when a suicide bomber murders his family. Holding the bomber?s spiritual leader responsible, Ed resorts to desperate measures to bring him to account.

by Tim Lea 0 pts 1,561 views

The Screenplay is a thriller about Ed Noble who loses his family to a suicide bomber. Ed holds the bomber’s spiritual leader responsible for their death. His world is spiralling into deep depression and after numerous thwarted attempts to confront the spiritual leader to bring him to account, Ed resorts to desperate measures to bring him to account in a language he feels the spiritual leader will understand when he seizes a rural Mosque holding a group of 7 hostages.

During the course of the siege conflict abounds – the political backdrop, the police’s desire to resolve the siege peacefully together with the TV station that ran the human story of Ed the previous year, who now have a difficult, but very ratings friendly, story. Through the use of technology, Ed manipulates the media story to the international stage to bring the siege to a climax. Does the spiritual leader agree to having his world exposed ? For the sake of the hostages, lets hope so…

11 reviews

APS 0 pts

Firstly Tim, I am sorry for your loss.

Secondly, if the `spiritual leader` is a muslim (why not call a spade a spade? You mention mosque...), then he wouldn`t care about sacrificing muslim hostages. These scum will happily massacre their own brand of faith, if it means killing the `infidel`. So I don`t see the relevancy of making him accountable in such a way. Also bin ladin used his children and wives as shields, so even if you had his family as hostages, it`d be a non-starter. It`d just strengthen the conviction for reprisal.

If you are going to write this, do it properly. Research thoroughly. Don`t ask muslims for advice, it`s never accurate. Read the quran (whichever version of islam your character is), watch international news and search the archives.

You may feel that this film can be passable in researched detail, but it will be scrutinised, and will appeal to those with more knowledge than a layman.

One final consideration is the well-being and safety of both yourself and those you love. Just look at the danish cartoonist. If you portray anything mildly provocative, I assure you some insane scum will take violent offence. Particularly against your muslim brother.

That is not saying your story should be canned, merely be cautious.

N.B. I`m ex-Royal Marines, GB

Tim Lea 0 pts

Hey patrochable - thx for the logline idea - it is summarised very well. The complication (to date) is the spiritual leader is offshore and in the script (to date) the protagonist has been deported from Indonesia for threatening to kill the leader....but the logline you suggest gives me a stronger direction than I had - so thx for that..

Tim Lea 0 pts

Interesting thoughts Chris, thx. As with earlier comments, the move is mainly thriller with revenge as a theme rather than its core theme. Its more about understanding and justice. in regards the antagonist they always say villains don't know they are villains, and in the script there is a tape of the spiritual leader's ramblings that was inadmissible in court and suppressed. My protagonist has a copy and wants to expose it. As for shortening - you're right. thx again..

Tim Lea 0 pts

You're right saving people from further hardship does give more resonance to the issue of revenge. I guess my protagonist does want revenge at some level but what he needs is more an understanding, to bring someone to justice, but more importantly he is trying to deal with loss. In the script he has tried to confront the spiritual leader on a number of occasions. He has been blanked every time. I am trying to walk a fine balance .....ths for the useful feedback it has helped me shape the direction of the logline further.

Tim Lea 0 pts

Thx again Nir - I had been struggling with the antagonist idea for a while and you've given me some very interesting and helpful views on it. Thx

patrockable 0 pts

Interesting thriller - can you say it in fewer words?

Phrases like "world falls apart" and "resorts to desperate measures" are too vague, and can be removed or made more specific.

I suggest something like:

When a suicide bomber murders his family, Ed attempts to bring the bomber?s spiritual leader to justice by seizing his Mosque, holding seven people hostage.