10 reviews
thanks!
As Nir Shelter said. "Studious" is more of a character strength in relation to his long term goal of going to college by the end of the plot. But it does not seem to fit well as a character flaw in relation to the rest of the logline scenario. That is, it doesn't suggest a vulnerability that will be exploited by the (vague) inciting incident, getting involved with an "unruly group of peers". It suggests he will reverse his usual course of behavior for the summer and that may created internal subjective conflicts. Okay, but the focus of a logline is not on internal conflicts but rather on external ones.
What is his character flaw that makes him vulnerable to coming under the influence of an "unruly group of peers". (And why are they only peers and not "friends"?)
Well, there's a vague possibility of any identity crisis "struggles to reinvent himself". But isn't the struggle to discover or create an identity, one's true self, a universal problem for all kids at that age, a generic issue in all coming of age stories? What is so unique about his struggle to "reinvent himself" that distinguishes this story from the pile of other coming of age scripts on script readers' desks?
And, once again, "struggles to reinvent himself" is an internal, subjective issue. Films are a visual medium. What's the visual for "struggles to reinvent himself"? What is the external problem of that is a manifestation, a consequence of the internal problem? What becomes his objective struggle as a result of his subjective struggle?
A good way to create a "hook" or increase interest in a generic plot such as this is by the use of a unique combination of character flaw or description and goal. Where the character flaw or other description will pose an obstacle for the MC to achieving their goal.
For example: An agoraphobe must step out on stage in front of the whole school.
Hope this helps.