Chelsea is the first president who jointly forms the Group of Eight through circumstances of fate to reduce a disturbing factor of survival, ?Unemployment? in the New Millennium.

Unemployment

7 reviews

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

I WONDER IF YOU GET THE PREMISE, CIRCUMSTANCES BROUGHT THEM ALLTOGETHER

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

You must be a funny writer, for you to think am referring to the president daughter, well not at all Chelsea is a man and am just my creativity okay.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

I thought she was the President of the United states?

scripping 0 pts

Thank you sir, i am talking about a character who with others void an issue in the nation just basically on humanitarian and circumstances stake.

scripping 0 pts

Yes thank you very much, but i have a direction in just one or two sentences you know, never mind about the G-8, It can never be an alternate story, these characters are ordinary common citizen not even the elites.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

Sometimes certain lines can be difficult to read.

Such as: "Chelsea is the first president who jointly forms the Group of Eight"

In order to jointly do something, you have to have a partner. For-instance, if you had wrote, "Chelsea and the prime minister of France jointly form the Group of Eight" would make sense.

Also since the G-8 is already formed, this logline implies that this is an alternate history script. If this story takes place in the past then that is good, but if it takes place in the future I would consider changing the line.

Hope that helped, good luck with this!