An introverted young Goth must stand up to a murderous cop and free a country town of corruption to win back the girl of his dreams.

The Lost Kelly Gold

2 reviews

damien 0 pts

Thanks Nicholas,

Yeah I did try to get the logline to do too much. I'm glad there's a site like this for workshopping the forgotten aspect of screenwriting.

I'll post a new one. Thanks again.

Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai · 1,742 pts

Freeing a town from corruption is too vague, and not nearly primal enough.

What is the hard and fast concrete goal of your protagonist, and who is the main antagonist to him achieving that goal? I think you might have a very vast story on your hands, but are not certain of the A plot.