An arrogant, popular high school bully discovers ? but can?t control ? strengthening-yet-unpredictable powers and is branded an outcast which compels him to work with a coven of gay and lesbian teen witches to uncover a conspiracy that threatens their town.

I agree that even though the concept is for a series, the logline should describe a plot for the pilot episode.

You obviously disagree about my suggestion that the logline ?would be more effective with a clear description of the superpowers. ?Good luck, if that's the way you want to do it. ?(IMHO , you'll need it.)

Series are best pitched with the pilot, as such you need to structure a logline for the first episode, then if a producer wants to know more you can go into further detail of the seasonal narrative.

When it comes to super powers, in a hypothetical situation, I would describe super man's powers as flight and strength. Obviously his super powers have become more complex since his character was first written, but the same elements of pragmatism apply - the particular aspect of the powers that will enable the character to overcome his major obstacle.

It's hard to place the genre and plot in the current draft of the logline which makes the concept confusing, this is because you have multiple trendy topics and agendas - gay/lesbian, witches and wizards, super heroes and high school pecking orders. I suggest pick one of these ad focus on that as the genre, then re consider the main character description as he still comes across as unlikable.

It's hard for me to make suggestions due to the lack of detail and genre confusion.

>>>How would you describe Superman?s and Spider-Man?s superpowers in a logline?

Don't have to because they are well-known characters based on popular comic strip heroes that have been parlayed into lucrative film franchises.

Your character is an unknown. ?To get your script read, ?you have to describe his superpowers ?-- what differentiates him from other super heroes. ?

And you are writing this as an origin story for a franchise, aren't you? ?(If you aren't, you should be. Because scripts with franchise potential are easier to sell.)

And to sell your script, the character needs to be proactive, in the drivers seat of the plot. ?That means the coven doesn't enlist his help to defeat the conspiracy. ?He discovers the conspiracy and enlists their help. ?As currently written, your logline suggests that this potential super hero, in spite of his undefined superpowers, is utterly clueless about the conspiracy.

I'm not saying he should be in complete control of his abilities from the FADE IN. ?But the logline has to suggest latent potential. ? And the way to do that is he discovers the conspiracy because of his superpowers. ?Of course, no normal person believes him. ?So he enlists the coven as allies, and struggles to master his superpower in time to defeat the conspiracy.

fwiw