After the death of his estranged father, Robert Krunch, a disgruntled office worker in his late 20s, must take his fathers place as an elite high speed hover car racer for a chance at a new life.

by Vilivo 0 pts 1,189 views

Hover Krunch

6 reviews

Tor Dollhouse 0 pts

I disagree strongly with the above comments..

What are the stakes ?? Why must he take his fathers place..
What new life ?? Be specific not generic..

Names and age are irrelevant and should only be used when there is an historical figure..

The logline reads like one scene, probably the inciting incident..

Also the protagonist is generic and boring. Give our hero an occupation that intrigues us..
Great conflict comes from circumstance..

Happy writing :D

Tor

hsingh5 0 pts

Logline perfect as always, but as Karel say don't mention the character name.