6 reviews
I have to agree with dpg on this one. What country does you lead move to? For an example; in the movie 'Under a Tuscan Sun" A middle aged woman moves to Tuscany to begin again... The country she moves to in many ways becomes the 'hook' of the story.
While your country may not be the hook of your story, it will still give the readers a strong visualization of the setting just by giving us the name of the country.
Thank you for all your advice. ?This is the first logline ?I've ever written so I'll rewrite it and make it more specific. My initial concern about mentioning things like the country and previous career was going over the 25 word limit, which, from what I've read seems important.
Agreed with the above.
Also his sea change needs an obstacle, once you've established the need to change places and careers make him encounter a reason to struggle for it.