After fighting in WWII, a man returns home to his family. However, suffering from PTSD, he doesn't know how to live a normal life and only uses his piano to cope with his problems until he meets a woman who shows him how to be happy.

Thanks for the input guys! Nicholas, what I was intending with the piano is that since he can't deal with the real world, the piano is his escape. But overcoming his PTSD is a central conflict so I agree with the second streamlining you put it through: A recently returned WWII veteran struggles to overcome his PTSD in order to be with the woman he loves.? However, I wanted the family aspect to be emphasized because part of the character's struggle is losing the family he once loved due to the PTSD since they can't handle dealing with him anymore and he is at his lowest, and that's where this woman comes in who shows him how to be happy. But there is the problem that "shows" makes him a passive character, so I don't know how to describe the way that she would indirectly show him how to be happy while still learning for himself.

Thanks for the input guys! Nicholas, what I was intending with the piano is that since he can't deal with the real world, the piano is his escape. But overcoming his PTSD is a central conflict so I agree with the second streamlining you put it through: A recently returned WWII veteran struggles to overcome his PTSD in order to be with the woman he loves.? However, I wanted the family aspect to be emphasized because part of the character's struggle is losing the family he once loved due to the PTSD since they can't handle dealing with him anymore and he is at his lowest, and that's where this woman comes in who shows him how to be happy. But there is the problem that "shows" makes him a passive character, so I don't know how to describe the way that she would indirectly show him how to be happy while still learning for himself.

Streamline even further: "A WWII vet finds refuge from PTSD in his piano - until he meets a woman who shows him how to be happy."

My problem with it is that as a concept it sounds derivative (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) but yet terribly boring. The piano/war thing has been done in THE PIANIST - but there the stakes were so much higher, a Jew hiding from Nazis in the ruins of occupied Poland, who maintains his sanity by PRETENDING to play the piano... What are the stakes in this one? What does the veteran stand to lose? It seems like a drama-free second act - the veteran returns from the war, isn't happy, so he plays some piano (very nicely, presumably) and then a woman (who I imagine quite likes piano music) shows up and makes him happy. There's no physical goal in the construct, no dramatic question to be answered. With the title BATTLE CRY the audience is going to be sorely disappointed when nothing happens. For an hour and a half.

I'm with Nicholas - A recently returned WWII veteran struggles to overcome his PTSD in order to be with the woman he loves.? Now that at least sounds like a movie.

This logline stuff is hard, right? But a great way of testing the story concept.