After being pressured by the cops to turn informant a teen is sent on a run by her drug dealer boss, who is holding her younger sister, knowing this run will get her killed.

by CraigDGriffiths Singularity · 20,463 pts 1,280 views

9 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts ★ Accepted

How about something like:

A teenage drug courier must undertake a suicidal drug run to save the life of her sister being held hostage by her drug boss.
(24 words)

That she's been talking to the police is a complication for her and a motivation for the drug boss. ?But it seems to me that the kernel of the concept is that she's trying to redeem herself, rectify her bad choices, reboot her life. ?And maybe she will survive. ?And maybe she'll die. ?But at least she's going to save her sister's life if she can't save her own.

fwiw.

CraigDGriffiths Singularity · 20,463 pts

Good point. That's the problem I am having. ?I am 20 pages in and the script is working great. Condensing it to a main through line is hard.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Whatever, she needs to be presented as a proactive protagonist. ?The logline needs to be framed in terms of her objective goal: outwit everyone to save herself and her sister.