Hi everyone!
This was a huge help, thank you a lot!
Here is my thing- I?m working from outline, and although I can change a lot of it, I want to stick to the core of the story. If I should summarize that story in some kind of logline, it would be like this:
After a strongest Core-holder- a cheerful heroin, is condemned by law for execution , an obsessed by her comic-book fanboy is willing to do anything to spare her from such fate, even if it means to eliminate all of the other core-holders and become a villain only she could defeat.
Here are my issues- there is no short way to describe what Core-holders are -which is a small group of people enhanced by mysterious artifacts (Cores), controlled by government, and used as energy source
-the fact that main character is a killer, should be a big reveal in the story (and this one is ruining me the most)
-it is a bit like a buddy-cop story where main character(the killer) and the strongest Core-holder(that cheerful heroin) share most of the screen time (or page space?) which makes it SO hard to distinct which one is main character.
-and I can?t make Core-holders just a superheroes, the way the Cores work is a key to climax of the story
As my task is to write a script out of this, I want my logline to be at least OK, and now I see how horrid the logline I posted is (sorry!). I tried to exploit one layer of the story as a irony factor of the logline.
I know this is not scriptwriting forum, but bad logline=bad script, and for now I?m bit helpless.
OK, I end this rant here.
For any smallest advice- BIG thank you!
And again, I hope this is readable.