After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

Why has the witness been kidnapped and kept alive while the killer goes around and murders the jury who convicted him? Why does he keep her alive, or bring her along at all?

Actually, it is the same thing. The first half of the sentence was just flipped around, is all. The star witness still has to find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

BEFORE ?

After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer,

she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

AFTER ?

After an escaped (or exonerated) killer kidnaps a former star witness,

she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

I don't think your alternative is improving the grammar, as the sentence structure now suggests that the killer ... must stop him.

But hey, I'm only a philologist... :-P

Thank you, yeah. I'm getting the basic bones of it together right now. Just seeing if it's worth writing. I think it as. I've gotten my plot points together and I like what I have. After I get my treatment together I'll do some research to see if there's a better way to do things than what I figure out. But I do want your opinion, do you think it's a worthwhile story? I've seen some more over the top fantasy plots here and I've seen more independent personal dramas, but me I'm more of a gritty personal thriller. So I do want opinions as far as if its worth while.

I would suggest doing research for stories where this actually happened. Look into interviewing law enforcement officers, lawyers, et cetera.

Not every jury is anonymous. Some places it's not a requirement. They just don't go and and physically post them somewhere. They did in the Casey Anthony case and she got off. It might just be a library news paper thing and then looking the people themselves up manually. I don't plan to have this done over night so I have time to figure out the logistics, but it's not completely impossible.