11Shareef

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

1 logline
13 reviews

After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

January 25, 2014

on A boy’s confusing existence is spent with a group of his closest friends. Dying to understand his journey, he realizes where it started.

For what I've found you don't want to use fluff words, but finding his dad is a great goal. It's very tangible. It's does he or does he not. I think it does leave a lot of room for exploring…
on After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

Thank you, yeah. I'm getting the basic bones of it together right now. Just seeing if it's worth writing. I think it as. I've gotten my plot points together and I like what I have. After I get my treatment…
on After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

Not every jury is anonymous. Some places it's not a requirement. They just don't go and and physically post them somewhere. They did in the Casey Anthony case and she got off. It might just be a library news paper…
on After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

It is a concern, but that could be up to personality types. That would be the most logical thing to do, stay straight, but I'm thinking another person may want revenge on who put him there. I mentally toyed with…
on After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

Well, now I've put some work into it. It's fleshed out more now and I've decided on the either/or. I'm looking more for advice on the overall plot now and where I can take it.... or if I should even…
on A boy’s confusing existence is spent with a group of his closest friends. Dying to understand his journey, he realizes where it started.

I posted a log line for review. It's the one about the exonerated killer hunting down the jury members who convicted him. Sorry, Sterling asking on your logline.
on A boy’s confusing existence is spent with a group of his closest friends. Dying to understand his journey, he realizes where it started.

Hey Presario, I hate to ask while reviewing someone else's line, but could you give mine a look at? it's the one under this. Sterling, although you may plan for a miniseries. You still have to have something concrete. You…
on A boy’s confusing existence is spent with a group of his closest friends. Dying to understand his journey, he realizes where it started.

You don't need to give the characters name in a logline. Still, living with passion and bliss isn't a tangible goal. You can't measure that. Films are about did he or did he not. What is going to have to…
on A boy’s confusing existence is spent with a group of his closest friends. Dying to understand his journey, he realizes where it started.

This is very ominous. Please give more detail. Actually, first what's the goal of the main character? It has to be tangible. I'd give a suggestion, but what you've left is so vague that it's hard to give you even…
on After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.

I have a flaw and a subplot set in place. I won't touch too much into the subplot, but it does deal with her developing a track record of dishonesty. It does hurt the sympathy the character can gain, but…

After a former star witness is kidnapped by an escaped (or exonerated) killer she must find a way to stop him as he hunts down the jury members who convicted him.