A young girl who has lived her entire life in a laboratory as the subject of an experiment, is kidnapped by a scientist who wants her to have a few days of a real childhood before she dies.

Childhood’s Ending

2 reviews

Nicholas Andrew Halls Samurai · 1,742 pts

Can you tell us anything more about her, character wise, than that she is young?

Who is the protagonist, the girl or the scientist? This logline feels like the setup for a film, but as I can't identify who the protagonist is, nor their goal, it's hard to tell what I'd actually be watching. (I do know the scientist's motivation, but not much else).

R J Penpusher · 10 pts

Sounds like a very touching concept. I think the logline could be improved by explaining why the scientist has chosen this moment to rescue her (make it clear if she is days away from death), and who the scientist is as a character. Looking forward to the next update.