A tortured former artist, now a compassionate young counselor, has dedicated his life to helping other misfortunate souls. As the troubles of a difficult past continues to cause harm, another life he struggles harder to save is just as important to him as his own?

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7 reviews

Tor Dollhouse 0 pts

The new attempt is much better and on the right track, with a hook it would be spot on..

Happy writing :D

Tor

Tracy_J Penpusher · 60 pts

"A tortured former artist turned crisis counselor, struggles to save another?s life from alcoholism in the wake of facing his own past of sexual abuse." (25 words!)

Not sure how this version would stand as a hook,? but it at least makes it clear who the main characters are, what they are about, and what stands in their way.

Tracy_J Penpusher · 60 pts

I just want to say thanks to everyone for your feedback and suggestions. I truly appreciate what each of you had to say. I also want to mention that in the process of writing my loglines I try to use the best possible words to describe exactly who and what the story is about in the shortest of terms. 25 words or less? (Whew). I?m working on it. All of my screenplay projects are based on my own novels of the same name, so I have a lot to work through to get the loglines just right. Thanks again.