A scientist builds a satellite system that ends World War III; then must find a way to disable it to prevent another holocaust in the battle of Armageddon.

This logline is a bit confused and circular as it currently stands. A satellite system prevents WWIII yet needs to be disabled during some later world war? The why and the how is left too unsaid. Greater clarity is needed to prevent a reader from scratching their head and just moving on.

Here's an example of greater clarity: "A new orbital guardian system is equiped with artificial intelligence that can swiftly cut short any explosive war. When the machine intelligence calculates that a small population is an acceptable loss, its inventor must turn against it."

Steven Fernandez (Judge)

Leaving aside any theological issues (I'm reasonably sure no one would be able to stop Armageddon, but let's face it, that's never stopped Hollywood before!)... This is a pretty decent logline. The only problem is that the reader's first instinct is to think "How could a computer system cause a Biblical event?" so I think you need to find a way of hinting at that in the logline, preferably without making it much longer...

Hey Swede,

My issue here is the disconnect between a system that shuts down wars, and the idea of Armageddon: I don't know if you mean the real Biblical Armageddon (which is implied by the phrase 'battle of'), or WW4 (and why didn't the scientist include an 'off' switch :-)

I quite like the idea of it being the literal Armageddon - otherwise you have to wonder why what worked for WW3, won't work again for WW4. So with that said, here's my reworked version:

"A self aware satellite forces the end of World War III, but the scientist who designed it realizes he must find a way to shut the system down before it triggers the prophecies of the End Times."