A researcher stumbles upon a group of young children, who can communicate without being connected, but he’s shocked to discover that the children wish to eradicate their elders–and particularly the researcher.

3 reviews

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

I agree with Odie, if you can say something with one or two words don't use more,

A group of kids who can 'communicate telepathically'... gets rid of extra words.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

The logline should not be about the lead being shocked, it should be about what he does about the situation.

Odie Samurai · 2,208 pts

Consider the following:
1. What is your protag’s field of research?
2. “communicate without being connected” – telepathic?
3. What is an elder - their parents?
4. Why do these children want to snuff him out? To keep their secret of world domination - what is their goal?

Keep going!

BTW: Checkout 1995’s “Village of the Dammed” and the 81 classic “Scanners” for some fun research.