7 reviews
I think the logline should be composed from the writer's perspective, not the character's because it's the only way to pitch the hook, sell the sizzle. The sizzle of the story is that he deliberately had his memory erased. ?There's no sign of the sizzle in the logline if told from the pov of the character.
I also think the concept would benefit from an ironic twist. ?Like in "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", the story of 2 lovers who have the memories of their relationship erased after a painful breakup -- only to be drawn back together again by circumstance and residual, fragmentary subconscious memories of their relationship.
As for how the memory is erased, there is also the credible option of a complete loss of memory in a battle accident. ?When he finally regains consciousness, it's day 1 of the rest of the life. ?He has no memory of any moment in his life before then. ?I say credible because there are medical cases of people who, as a result of brain trauma, have suffered a complete memory loss of of their lives up to the moment of the trauma -- and have never, never gotten it back.
fwiw
Because his memories have been erased, he has no recollection of the past.
In your logline you are telling us the story from the writers perspective, that his past is catching up to him. Instead you should tell us the story from his perspective.
He's (Possibly) a family man, then out of nowhere someone tries to kill him. He doesn't know why because he doesn't remember his past. Now we have a mystery, why are these men out to kill him? Why do they want?
That would be the story from his perspective.
A movie that does this well is "The Long Kiss Goodnight" staring Gena Davis.
try something like: When a child soldier forced to do terrorist acts kills his own cousin and tries to reform his life, he soon finds the cousin's family are still out for revenge