A powerful Mafioso plots to heist 360 tons of gold from Italy and the Vatican ? and the only man who can protect them from devastation is a bumbling, self-important actor who has a fear of cleavage.
Giacomo Bondamente: The World’s Greatest Hero
Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
Giacomo Bondamente: The World’s Greatest Hero
Tony Edward, good point about the WHY Giacomo is the last resort. I'm working on finding a crisp way to state it. (It's because Giacomo is the only outsider whom the bad guy will allow close to his gang's inner workings.)
Thanx for the input.
?...........j
I think that if you are getting interest using the above logline then the logline is serving it's purpose. My only suggestion would be to have a good think about "...last resort..." -- for me it leaves a bit of a logic gap... who's last resort and why is it their last resort? In my head, even though it might seem cliche, but a logical reason for a Spy agency (well -- maybe you could just refer to them as AN Agency/ crime agency or something etc...) to use this guy to INFILTRATE (which is what I'm assuming they want him to do...???) the 'robbers' (or what-have-you) is if the bumbling actor bore a striking resemblance to some well known thief/ criminal etc...? Obviously the script is done -- but regardless, the logline would be improved if you could spell out the reason WHY this bumbling actor is a 'last resort' ...
Anyway -- if it's working for you it's working... so nice work -- I still think when playing with it try and get as specific as you can with the main plot elements -- try some drafts where you don't worry about word count -- just make the story crystal clear, and then revise with a mind to condense etc...fwiw - the original logline read a bit 'sales pitchy', and the most recent is definitely better, but missing a clear story thread... you want to find a good balance between the two.
Below is just my spin taking some dramatic license etc:
'A bumbling out of work actor that bears a striking resemblance to a high profile thief is hired by the CIA to infiltrate a gang who plan on robbing the Vatican'
Best of luck again, and hats off on the Inktip interest!
Here's the logline that's garnered some producer interest on InkTip:
(Comedy:) Conned into believing he's hero material, a bumbling actor becomes the last resort against a madman's plot to destroy the Italian government and the Vatican.
I'll keep tweaking.
..............j