a loser terrorist wants to go to heaven tries to find the bomb he lost to explode it.

4 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

What if you switched the stakes around?
What if an Islamic terrorist changes religions, now in order to go to heaven he must find the bomb he lost in neutralize it instead.

CraigDGriffiths Singularity · 20,463 pts

A "But" may fix it. It would give him more challenges. I don't think it works as a story, but that is because I can see it from the victims side.

To fix the logline you need a little more. It is just a little simple, which can be okay, but doesn't quite work here.

Foxtrot25 Summitry · 17,380 pts

As richiev says. I don't even know where to start with this. Is this a bad guy glorification story?