A directionless raft guide enlists his professional athlete friends to help him find a mysterious woman in the forest who called upon him to save her, then disappeared.

Prism: Spirit of the Northwest

6 reviews

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Good point raised by David.
Inciting incident should precede the action.

David W 0 pts

I feel like your logline might read a bit better if you reverse the order things are told in. For example when a distressed woman disappears into the forest a directionless raft guide must enlist his athlete friends to find her.

At the moment it reads a bit like the movie starts after he has already seen her and enlisting the friends is the inciting incident.

FFF Mentor · 7,850 pts

I think the word "mysterious" should be banned from loglines. When this word appears, you know for sure that there is something to be clarified.