After cyborgs invade their planet, a cyborg hunter and his crew must stop them from destroying the human race.

I want to be like Terminator meets Star Wars.

Hi IvyEight6,

INTENTION: must stop from destroying the human race.
OBSTACLE: cyborgs invade their planet.

Attempt 1:
When his planet is invaded by cyborgs, a cyborg hunter and a ragtag group of survivors must stop them from completely eliminating the human race.

Notes:
- Admittedly, your first logline is fine but I’ve just pushed down on some things.
- I made it “a ragtag group of survivors” to make it less easy. Give it more conflict. “A cyborg hunter and his crew” suggests they’re probably gonna win.

Attempt 2:
After the planet is invaded by killer cyborgs, a cyborg hunter and a ragtag group of survivors must stop them from killing the last woman on Earth.

- I’m just playing with the idea here and giving them something more to prevent than “destroying the human race”. That’s quite a general thing. (It’s good but general.) If it’s the last woman on Earth - they really, really do have to kill these things to save civilisation and repopulate the human race.
- Interestingly, you could switch it.

Attempt 3:
After the planet is invaded by killer cyborgs, a female cyborg hunter and her ragtag crew of female survivors must stop them from killing the last man on Earth.

- Normally I wouldn’t add “killer” to cyborgs but I figured we should know straight away they’re not just invading - they are eliminating, killing, etc.
- Regardless - cool idea.

Good luck!

I fixed it.

Change “invades” to “invade” and remove “by an evil emperor” and you have a mostly okay logline. The only thing is “their” and “them” are ambiguous. You need to change the wording to fix that.

I edited it already.

Okay, then.

Darn, no edit button... What I meant to say is;' is the 'They' as in 'Their planet' the Cyborg hunter and his crew?

Who are "They"?

I revised it.

Okay... then "and he, and his crew, must find a way to stop them"

To be honest, he has a team to do that.

Finds himself is an ambiguous inciting incident. Maybe something like “crash-lands in” or “gets stranded on”... then you need to add some connection between his presence and the invasion. Maybe a logline like this:

When a cyborg hunter crash-lands on a cyborg planet, he learns of their plan to invade his home world and must find a way to stop them.

You could also try to make it so he inadvertently instigates the war.