A chaotic and self-hating mob family has to join forces to counter a neurotic cop who\'s showing too much interest in their affairs.

i do hope it’s all in the logline 🙂

4 reviews

Radu Ionescu 0 pts

great feedback Andrew and Phoopes! thank you very much! i'll take note of it!

phoopes 0 pts

The term "join forces" is a little confusing to me. A family should "come together" because you don't have two opposing forces that must join in the first part of that sentence...

Andrew Bates Penpusher · 270 pts

I forgot to add also, the inciting incident? What happens to make our hero realise change is needed, or something happened out of his control?

fill out the elements below, maybe it will make your logline more clearer.

Protag- ?
Antag- Cop or family member?
Goal- Reconnect family to protect affairs
Inner Conflict- family members
Outer Conflict- the police
Irony- family working with cops??
Hook- ?
Genre- ?

Again hope this helps, best of luck.