While a FATHER searches for his missing teen son, his friend, Frank house sits, unknowingly unaware someone else is there with him.

Title: DEFENSLESS

4 reviews

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

I agree... I am working on a re-write...Thanks for the feedback!

fejumas 0 pts

Agree with quikoni - whose story is this? It reads like 2 disparate stories so if there's a connection between the father searching for his teen son and Frank housesitting, I think you have to include that in the logline. Is the missing son the one in the house with Frank? Sounds like there may be a thriller/horror element - that needs to make it into the logline also. You don't have to include the twist but being coy isn't doing your logline any favors.