When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

dgp, i agree with you. my logline was missing the hook. I will concentrate on incorporating the hook of the story. Thanks.

When a runaway convict becomes trapped on a runaway train, he must choose between saving his life and being recaptured or dying a free man.

25 words. Yeah, I know it strips out the complications of the 2 other passengers, the warden in hot pursuit, yada-yada, but the hook, the truly compelling aspect of the story is the awful existential choice the plot forces the protagonist to make: live the rest of his life in a hellish prison run a sadistic warden or die a free man.

Oh, "The Runaway Train" directed by Andrey Konchalovskiy from a screenplay that was a rewrite by others of one by Kurosawa.

dgp: This logline is from a 90's movie written by Akira Kurosawa which I recently watched. I am trying to get the jist of the story in the logline.

Rookie - to me means an inexperienced prisoner. I believe the information I have given summarises the movie.

Deepak Surendar:

Is this logline the seed-thought of a story you are thinking of writing, or a logline based upon a script you have completed?

"a rookie" ? Rookie what? First time convict? Is he innocent, too, or...?

It's much fuller. The two protagonist are defined. I like it.

"When an innocent convict and a rookie escape prison and get trapped on an unmanned speeding train, they must stop it and evade the menacing jail warden by being a team"

Does this help dgp & Chris? I have not provided the information before because the log line must be within 25 words.

Why should the audience care, root for the convicts to evade recapture? Did they commit the crimes for which they were incarcerated?