Deepak

Penpusher · 20 points

280 points to Logliner

3 loglines
6 reviews

When a misogynistic Indian husband loses his IT job, he is forced to work in a team reporting to his wife in her organisation, to pay for mortgage.

December 25, 2019
When a high-school kid gets invited to friend's party, he and his 2 friends must illegally buy alcohol to get laid and stand-up for each-other

August 6, 2013
When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

August 5, 2013

on When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

dgp, i agree with you. my logline was missing the hook. I will concentrate on incorporating the hook of the story. Thanks.
on When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

dgp: This logline is from a 90's movie written by Akira Kurosawa which I recently watched. I am trying to get the jist of the story in the logline. Rookie - to me means an inexperienced prisoner. I believe the…
on When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

"When an innocent convict and a rookie escape prison and get trapped on an unmanned speeding train, they must stop it and evade the menacing jail warden by being a team" Does this help dgp & Chris? I have not…
on When two escaped convicts get trapped on a runaway train, they must stop the train and evade the jail warden by being a team

What is the sentence you are expecting, Chris. Please be specific.
on When his girlfriend goes missing, David must track down her whereabouts after he realizes she?s not who she was pretending to be.

Your logline looks neat to me with all mandatory fields. If possible add the protagonist flaw and adding more stakes.
on When a single father to a teenage daughter learns that he has a fatal brain tumor, he takes her on a road trip to find the mother who abandoned her years before and to try to teach her everything she might need over the rest of her life.

Looks like the daughter is overcoming her flaw. I believe the father is the protagonist here. Is it?