When an extremely attractive but overly nice bar tender cannot find love, he then recruits his buddies to transform him into be a jerk, until he lands the girl of his dreams and loses her because of his new attitude

Rom com

3 reviews

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

How's this "When an extremely attractive bar tender cannot find love, he then recruits his buddies to teach him how to be a jerk, until he lands the girl of his dreams.

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

You could tighten it up a little bit as its a bit long, I agree withe the above comment, scrap the ending

AdromachadiScore 0 pts

You should leave it ending with "...until he lands the girl of his dreams" It kinda leaves a clift hanger. Creates curiosity for whoever is reading it. Adding the last part kinda spoils everything.