Thirty five year old toy designer John who hates kids gets a chance to design toys for one of the best toy manufacturing company under the super vision of four year old Sara.

8 reviews

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

The logline sets up an interesting situation for the adult character -- but fails to give to him a plot, There is no indication where the story is going to go with the setup.

Given the situation he finds himself in, what must ?he about it? ? Or else -- what are the stakes?

If he's the protagonist then he needs to have a proactive role in pursuit of an objective goal. ?What is that goal?

trijainerthi Penpusher · 61 pts

Looks like a premise with immense potential! Keep em coming :)

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

There have been several films about toy designers and manufacturers, some more successful than others, but while toy making is not without its charm as a premise it needs an additional escalation of stakes. For example, what if the little girl gets more and more popular with the board of directors, as a result they bring in an army of kids that he must deal with in order to guide the design and manufacture of toys, or worse yet they force him to regularly attend a first grade class in an attempt to help him get into their minds.