The worlds two worst explorers embark on a perilous quest to a mysterious tibetan mountain in hopes of finding the legendary Yeti before their botanist rivals do.

by Sam Garner 0 pts 530 views

Hamish & Maurice – A Winters Tale

2 reviews

Wilke Penpusher · 24 pts

Hi Sam!

FYI...I'm not a logline expert...but I'll do my best to analyze your logline.

I love the fact that these are 'the world's worst explorers'. I immediately see an adventure/comedy. But I guess this needs a pay-off at the end of the logline.

Loglines are not supposed to have many story details, but I think we need to know what's at stake when their botanist rivals find the legendary Yeti first and what are the ramifications of being such a bad explorer. And why do they need to find that Yeti so badly? What's at stake for them if they don't find the Yeti? And more importantly: what if their rivals find it first? And all this without going into story detail and still have a clear concise concept! That's hard, I know. I am struggling with my logline as well.

Underneath a totally ridiculous logline, but I think that these components should be in it.

Protagonis - goal - antagonist + a sense of genre

When two of the world's worst explorers embark on a perilous quest to a mysterious Tibetan mountain to find the Yeti, the only creature that can save the people of Xavix, they must outsmart two evil extremely hot botanists, who want to take academic credit and these girs will do anything to achieve it. And I mean anything.

I chose to try and give a sense of the comedy genre. I don't know your story, but that's what I got from the two worst explorers.

I hope this was helpful. This could become a very funny movie!

Best,

Wilke

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Uh, botantists specialize in plants. Yeti is an animal.

And again, what's the deal about "two worst explorers" -- 2 protagonists instead of one?
And what's at stake? What do they stand to gain if they succeed? What do they stand to lose if they fail? (IOW: Why should the audience care/worry/want them discover Yeti before their rivals do? From a scientific point of view, who cares who discovers Yeti? Isn't the discovery more important than discoverer?)