3 reviews
Agreed with the above.
Best to redraft this so it reads clearly and focuses on one main character.
I would start with a lead character and what they want more than anything... and Foxtrot gives great advice.
Unless there is an over arching storyline that will last an entire season then I would use that as your logline.
Joker,
Unfortunately, I am unable to comprehend your logline. I recommend rewriting. I suspect that English is not your native tongue, however, that shouldn't stand in the way of you organizing a clear and concise description. I suggest you read the formula or copy some of your favorite examples.
Good luck.