(REVISED) When the newly appointed Sheriff of Sweetwater on a colony of Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends must defend it from a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.

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1 review

griffynbachta · Penpusher · 84 pts

The character, plot and stakes are all here, but the wording could be revised to improve the logline.

The location could use more clarity, is Sweetwater a town inside a colony or is it the name of the colony?

How does the Soybean Magnate plan to destroy the town? Is it through a big bomb or through legal acquisitions of the land? Defining this will give a clearer mental image of what happens in this story.