President Hauter has to choose ? use illegal methods to ensure continued peace and stability in her region, or stand by and allow women and infants? lives be endangered. After the Zero Birth Years, scientists designed artificial wombs and solved the crisis of global infertility. Now a company has developed hormonal treatments that have jolted five women into fertility and potential motherhood. And they're running a competition to see if one of them can survive pregnancy and childbirth.

The Pregnancy Race

6 reviews

fejumas 0 pts

Children of Men meets Hunger Games?

There?s an interesting dystopian vibe about your logline but honestly, the first part of your logline feels disconnected to the second part. How they relate to each other feels muddled ? the human race has a fertility problem so babies are raised in vitro via artificial wombs. Then a company discovers a hormonal treatment that may be the answer to fertility but the 5 pregnant test subjects have to compete to be the one to bring a child to term? Why can only one woman bring her baby to term? Also, the choice of a president as the protag feels a little passive ? a president is active by legislating ? not the most cinematically engaging. Unless your president does some actual ass-kicking :)

Protag ? President Hauter
Goal ? prevent the pregnant Hunger Games?
Antag ? company that wants to hold the pregnant Hunger Games
Stakes - ? If Hauter prevents pregnant Hunger Games then babies still can be born in vitro, so back to square one
Hook ? ? pregnant Hunger Games

Just a thought: what if the villain (the hormonal treatment company) sells the fertility treatment to those who can pay (the 1%) and hold a lottery for the commoners (the 99%) and those chosen compete in a type of competition to get pregnant?

Best of luck!

Former member Penpusher · 20 pts

Also, take a look at the movie "Children of Men" ... similar concept (humanity cannot reproduce in the future).

Kriss Tolliday 0 pts

I think all the comments so far have a good point. The log line is far too long and people may not read it all as it looks a lot on the page. I wander if you even need the opening line or two and instead find a way to push them into one and and get to the main story of the film almost immediately.

Hope this helps.