Mystic River tells the story of three men whose dark, interwoven history forces them to come to terms with a brutal murder on the mean streets of Boston.

Looking forward to your Great Gatsby logline in Classics. Based on a reviews, I haven't seen the lates movie or read the script but this will motivate me to do both.

BTW: I hope to post a logline in Classics for "The Great Gatsby" for your consideration.

Were it an original spec script instead of an adaptation from a famous novel, I suspect the story would have a harder sale. As it is, it has been adapted 4 times so far (Broadway stage play, TV movie, 2 films)-- what's the hook that Hollyweird finds irresistible?

I've read Snyder and Truby, found their ideas helpful... up to a point. I have constructed my own beat sheet, a kludge of Snyder and other resources. My script also has a "C" story -- a schema I got from "Inside Story: The Power of the Transformational Arc" by Dara Marks.

I intend to post a logline when I finish the current draft, see what discoveries I make.

Great logline polish, dpg.

You mentioned "A" and "B" stories in your last post. Are you using Blake Snyder's Beat Sheet? I find that very helpful.

I also use John Truby's book The Anatomy of Story. I found it especially helpful in character development. I had initially thought I had three main characters but, after additional analysis, realized I had one main character with an atypical placement in the story.

Will you be posting your logline on this site?

Good analysis and a good rewrite almiiitey.

When writing a log line for a story that is essentially an ensemble piece (which I consider "Mystic River" to be), it can be difficult to decide which character to build the log line around. The usual rule of thumb is to build it around the character who changes, or at least changes the most. Which you astutely did with your rewrite.

That's the problem with a script I'm currently working on. The only log line I have been able to devise that comes in under 30 words is built around a supporting character who is central to the "B" story (the mom) rather than the character who drives the "A" story (the son). (And both characters have big transformation arcs. As does the other supporting character.)

Anyway, here's my polish of your rewrite (26 words):

When a cop reunites with two boyhood friends to investigate the murder of one friend's daughter, the other, molested as a child, becomes the prime suspect.

regards

Dear dpg,

I think you've found the heart of the logline. I agree, the irony may be the sizzle that sells the story.

After a few re-reads, there were a few areas that still might be unclear. Who is the main character and why are you telling me about three men but only giving a description of two?

Even through this is the story of three men I believe Sean is the main character. He is the only one that changes based on the events of the story. The other two don't change and Sean witnesses their destruction--one dies and one becomes a monster.

A cop must reunite with two boyhood friends to investigate when one man?s daughter is murdered and the other, molested as a child, is the prime suspect. Word count: 27.

Thanks so much, dpg. These are the types of screenplays I enjoy writing and boiling down a complex story to a cohesive, engaging logline is very difficult.

As Tony indicated, a logline should only supposed to be long enough to tease a reader with the sizzle, the story hook, not serve a sample of the steak, the story itself, for them to savor.

For me the most compelling element was the ironic twist, that a person who was the victim of a crime (sexual molestation) as a child becomes a prime suspect of murder as an adult. (I'm a sucker for irony.)

Complicating the story is that the murder victim is the daughter of one of his childhood friends, and his other childhood friend is the investigating officer. The shared ghost from the past is that the 2 men accusing the 3rd stood by as kids as the 3rd was abducted by a molester who was pretending to be a cop. So here's my take:

When 3 men, friends since childhood, are reunited after one man's daughter is murdered, the one molested as a child becomes the prime suspect.

A serviceable 24 words, but it lacks je ne sais quoi.

Hello dpg and Tony Edward,

This story is very difficult to fit into logline format. I gave it my best shot.

Twelve-year-old boys Jimmy and Sean witness their friend Dave?s abduction by pedophiles disguised as cops. Dave escapes but is labelled damaged goods.? As an adult, Sean becomes a cop and is forced to return to his boyhood neighborhood to investigate when Jimmy?s daughter is murdered. In the course of the investigation, the three friends are reunited and Sean realizes their shared history has damaged them all.

Hi almiitey (and dpg)...

For me, the 'sizzle' in this story is the fact that one of the three friends becomes the main suspect in the murder of Sean Penns daughter (well -- to Sean Penn anyway...)... I posted a couple of shots but they haven't come through (yet??), but anyway -- quite tricky to communicate the relationship and scenario between these three friends in a logline... and can understand why Amazon's/ IMDb's skirts around specifics of the main plot...here are the two shots again:

"Three childhood friends; a cop, an ex-con, and a blue-collar worker reunite as adults when trying to find the killer of the ex-con?s daughter -- but face a horrible truth when the blue-collar worker becomes a suspect."

or less specific (and probably more confusing... if that's possible :) )

"Three childhood friends? lives are turned upside down when two suspect one of the brutal murder of one of their daughters?."

Let's start with this one. If you were writing "Mystic River" as an original spec script, not adapted from book or short story, what would be your log line?

Would love to try this. Any suggestions for films?

>>>. Just not sure it can be captured in a logline.

The eternal frustration with loglines! It's might be an interesting exercise to whip up loglines for movies whose concept was "pre-sold" as best-selling books first, concepts hard to encapsulate in a "cold call" logline.

Thank dpg.

I love this movie, but have often wondered if there would have been any way to pitch it without the back up of the bestselling book. You've got a fairly straightforward police procedural with hints of some connection to past events. Not a lot of sizzle there, really.

However, the way the story is put together, when you watch it, is very powerful. Just not sure it can be captured in a logline.

Great comments and great story Tony Edward--thanks for sharing.

...this is IMDb's:

'With a childhood tragedy that overshadowed their lives, three men are reunited by circumstance when one loses a daughter.

I would've thought that by the time the logline arrives on the doorstep of IMDb, Amazon, TV Week or whatever, it's most likely quite different from the logline used by the screenwriter for development and pitching purposes -- there are different audiences involved -- depending on the audience the logline can change -- in development, I'd argue that the screenwriter is the audience, and the logline should be clear and even (shock horror) reveal the ending -- but when pitching it initially (say, via a query letter, or entering in a competition etc...or on logline it! )you want some enticement, so giving away the ending is not such a great idea etc etc etc...

On a pretty irrelevant side-note -- I recently saw an interview with Brian Helgeland, who said that he initially turned Clint Eastwood down to write the screenplay for Mystic River because it was too close to home (he was too scared to call Clint himself, so did it via his Agent.. ;) ). Clint, who apparently lived 2-3 hours away called him up and said he was dropping by. Lo-and-behold, Clint turned up on his doorstep a few hours later, all quiet and menacing in the way that Clint just is. They spent a few uncomfortable silent moments in Brian's kitchen before he plucked up the courage to offer Clint a drink... But Clint wasn't interested. After some more uncomfortable silence Brian offered him a freshly baked cookie, which piqued Clint's interest. Brian handed him the cookie and a plate, to which Clint replied, "I don't need a plate.", and proceeded to stand over the kitchen sink, munching away at his cookie. In the meantime, Brian just sat stunned at his kitchen table, freaking out about Clint freaking Eastwood standing over his sink eating one of his cookies. After what seemed like an eternity of nothing but the sound of Clint's munching and cookie crumbs hitting the bottom of the sink, Clint finally finished, turned to Brain and said, "So... You gonna do it?". Brian took less than a heart beat to reply "Yep"... and the rest is history.

:)

I'm a little underwhelmed.

My version 1.0 would be: "Three men are reunited and forced to deal with their intertwined dark past and the murder of one man's daughter."

The movie had the promotional advantage of being an adaptation of a best-selling book.

This is Amazon's description of the movie. How do you feel it plays as a logline?