House of Duncan, take 2

You are hitting the nail directly on the head.

My problem is that my personal description of my hero Brian, a Scottish accountant, is pulling up all of the wrong pictures in people's heads. High-level accountant's aren't meek, their careers and the livelyhoods of hundreds of people are on the line all of the time. They are incredibly busy, to the point that my hero has just lifted up his head and realized that a decade went by without him noticing..

Scots are hotleaded, stubborn, and loyal to a fault. Adrenalin actually helps them focus, as opposed to the rest of us who think less as the danger increases.

My hero's arc is defined by how he reacts to others. Maybe I just need to go back and read the first 15 pages with someone a few times. He's a really great guy that comes accross as a superior, he just has to rediscover it.

Thanks for the help, I'll sit on it for a while.

The concept has definite potential for drama and suspense. But the "loving couple" comes across as faceless and bland to me.

Can you gives us somewhat more character?

I suspect the story is going to be a journey for one partner more than the other. Is there a character flaw that is overcome in the course of the story?

All these things I would love to see in the logline.