3 reviews
This doesn't read as an industry conventional logline, therefore it will likely not serve as a good pitching tool. It's also confusing and fails to describe a clear plot, and as a result won't be good for use in drafting?a synopsis.
As advised above best you read through the Training tab on the top bar for more information on how to best write a logline.
dgp is right. It's way too long. BUT...it makes for a great premise. I'd seriously consider watching it.
At 86 words, the logline is way too long and way too complicated to evaluate. ?Please read the guidelines for an industry standard logline under "Training" at the top of the web page and condense and simplify accordingly.