A young woman from a conservative family background drops out of Harvard University and rises to fame as a performer in the porn industry.

After a public and messy breakup with her longtime boyfriend, an Ivy League student displaying signs of Histrionic Personality Disorder drops out of school and pursues fame as a performer in the porn industry.

Better, but as it stands your revision describes a story -- but not a plot. What's the difference?

The distinguished English novelist E.M. Forster succinctly stated the difference in his "Aspects of the Novel": "We have defined a story as a narrative of events arranged in their time-sequence. A plot is also a narrative of events, the emphasis falling on causality. 'The king died and then the queen died' is a story. 'The king died, and then the queen died of grief' is a plot. The time sequence is preserved, bu the sense of causality overshadows it."

So a plot is not just action, it's action taken for a reason. And a logline should describe a plot. So the action in your logline needs a reason, to wit, an inciting incident. Why does she drop out of Harvard? Why does she become a porn actress? Choosing a career like that can't be a casual decision; it ought to be a causal one. What is the reason? What problem or circumstance motivates her to make such a drastic change in her life?

Thanks. All valid thoughts. What about: "A bashful young woman from a conservative family background drops out of Harvard University and rises to fame as a performer in the porn industry."