Seeking exposure for the abuse he suffered in foster care, a United States Army Ranger decides to take the Minnesota foster care system to court.

Michael, he takes his foster parents to court because what else is he going to do? This is based on a true story, I mean sure I can add "taking them hostage" but it would be misleading. After I left the military there was only that one option, sure I wanted to hunt them down but that isn?t legal :) I actually had to force myself not to hunt them and my sisters abusers down (two completely different antagonists) but that wasn?t an option. So I am having a hard time building my logline with the write elements.

There's obviously a jump I've missed somewhere (I've gone from the Army Ranger being a guy, to his sister suddenly being raped?).

In any case, my little bit of advice is the same - why does he take his foster parents to court? A ranger having seen the worst of the human race at war, strikes me as someone who would take more drastic measures to get retribution. Why doesn't he take them hostage? If the foster parents are setup as the true evil of the film, I think it would be pretty reasonable he'd do something to those lengths.

Whether he pulled the trigger or not, is entirely up to you :)

Aha, I?m obviously new to the site, I didn?t know that you could tweek it...hmmm thanks for the heads up.Seriously dpg, great feedback!!

Curtis:

For the sake of continuity of discussion, may I suggest you polish your logline within the thread or the logline itself, rather than posting a new logline for every revision? (You can edit the original posted loglines at the top of the thread as the discussion evolves.)

Working as I do in mental health, I appreciate your emotional investment and motivation for the story you want to tell. However, to cite my #1 favorite drama critic of all time, Aristotle (again) -- drama is an imitation of action, not a blow by blow, beat by beat recreation of every last detail. (Which is why biographical films are advertised as "inspired by" or "based upon".) Writers have to make hard choices of what to include and what to leave out,the order of events, and pacing.

A movie that comes to mind for your consideration is "Lethal Weapon" (1987). The cop is suicidal over the death of his wife in an auto accident. That is very relevant to his behavior, motivation and his objective goal in the film. But the original trauma is all backstory. The details of why he is suicidal are melded into the story as it progresses.

Surmising the story arc from the details you've provided, the plot is not his past so much as what he's doing about it -- or in spite of it -- now, in the present tense. His objective goal isn't to get out of the army, or to survive combat. His goal is to save his sister. Being in the army is a complication, an obstacle. And survival is a step along the way of his primary mission. (And he's got to be on his primary mission to save his sister by the end of Act 1, which roughly translates into 30 pages of script, 30 minutes of screen time.)

so essentially for his entire life he has been abused and witnessed some of the most traumatic events that will ultimately scar him for life. I know it sounds like there are allot of unanswered questions.

No one else can handle it, essentially everyone else doesn?t believe that the information about her being raped is true.