After accusing a powerful British Financial titan of rape, a successful business woman must decide whether to save her fledgling firm or regain the life she lost.

To tony & dpg,

After a successful businesswoman accuses a powerful financial titan of rape, she struggles to regain the life she's built while saving her fledgling company.

It's always a challenge balancing the specifics in a logline versus making it 'intriguing' -- but it's almost always best to actually state your story -- or more to the point, the main dilemma -- that's what's going to make a logline intriguing, IMO anyway. If a professional Reader of the logline has to make toooo many guesses/ assumptions I'd think they'd be too ready to pass -- I think throw a bit of caution to the wind and have a play with getting all the juiciest bits into the logine and see where you can condense... You have something that's very topical, something that throws up real potential dilemmas, and at the moment the current logline misses those marks -- it sounds like it's all in your script -- for example -- the fact that they are married is a HUGE element that really should be present in the logline...

Anyway -- best of luck with it.

Tony, you are barking up my tree this morning. My completed script is full of reveals which as you stated create powerful dilemmas while also revealing more about the two ppl and exactly what led them to each other's paths on that fateful night.

My protag is INDEED the victim and so as not to reveal my twists which you intimated " if there is some evidence that the victim could be lying etc" I'm trying my best not to give up to much info while still allowing intrigue within my logline.

"The story goes in two distinct different directions depending on who the victim is" have you read my script unknowingly?? lol. Precisely my goal was to show how sexual assault affects all involved especially when the perp and the victim are married and when the assault teeters over into their professional lives. Then cap it off with a burgeoning phenomenon called SOCIAL MEDIA (a blogger releases her name)where nobody's business becomes everybody's business and you got onc hec of a screenplay.

Now I just gotta let it exude from my loglline.?

Tony, you are barking up my tree this morning. My completed script is full of reveals which as you stated create powerful dilemmas while also revealing more about the two ppl and exactly what led them to each other's paths on that fateful night.

My protag is INDEED the victim and so as not to reveal my twists which you intimated " if there is some evidence that the victim could be lying etc" I'm trying my best not to give up to much info while still allowing intrigue within my logline.

"The story goes in two distinct different directions depending on who the victim is" have you read my script unknowingly?? lol. Precisely my goal was to show how sexual assault affects all involved especially when the perp and the victim are married and when the assault teeters over into their professional lives. Then cap it off with a burgeoning phenomenon called SOCIAL MEDIA (a blogger releases her name)
where nobody's business becomes everybody's business and you got onc hec of a screenplay.

Now I just gotta let it exude from my loglline.

Hi Tammie,

Aside from what's already been mentioned, I'm confused about another issue -- is the protagonist the rape victim? Or is she standing up for someone else? "...After accusing..." is possibly a reason, as at the moment there is simply an accusation OF an event as opposed to the event (rape) itself, and no distinct mention of who the victim is.

The story goes in two distinct different directions depending on who the victim is (personally, I see greater dramatic scope if she is standing up for someone else, i.e. is not the victim -- throws up some other potential dilemmas, like, if there is some evidence that the victim could be lying etc...) -- and a very 'doing versus deciding' logline would probably present itself.

-- IMO -- a premise with promise, but needs to be clearer.

Good luck with it.

" Loglines are not about deciding. They are about DOING." duly noted.

and she does decide which answers both of your questions, however the decision opens up a pandora's box.

Will work on the wording... almost there. Thx for the feedback.