Abused and neglected throughout his childhood, a United States Army Ranger must shelve his wantings of a victorious death on the battlefield in order to rescue his sister from sex servitude, and to bring the people responsible for his years of suffering and trauma, to justice.

Behind the Colored Glass

7 reviews

Curtis 0 pts

Hey dpg, thanks for all of the advice, you are absolutely right..the issue is " this is my life story" and I am unable to make a compelling logline because I simply don?t know where to start. So much happened and im really unsure of how to formulate it into a logline.

dpg Singularity · 112,231 pts

Curtis:

Yes, it is better for the organization of the plot (and formulation of a logline) that the protagonist have one objective goal. (It's not just better, it's been the rule in Western drama going back to Aristotle's "Poetics".) All other goals should be subordinate to that overarching goal -- steps along the way.

If the antagonist in both his and her abuse is the same villain, then the ONE objective goal would be to bring him to justice for both crimes. If it's a case of 2 separate (and not directly or causally related) antagonists and crimes, then you've got 2 separate stories and objective goals.

BUT: the crime done to him is obviously the source of his subjective problem -- the psychic wounds that need to be healed. And perhaps at the start of the story, those wounds have him in the grips of a death wish. Then -- the inciting incident -- he finds out about his sister's dire situation. Now, he has a reason to live: to rescue his sister. That becomes his objective goal.

Can he bring his own abuser to justice as a collateral consequence of rescuing his sister, a karmic bonus? Maybe, depending on how the plot is constructed. And if he feels he must do so for some peace of mind -- to tame the furies inflicted upon him by his own abuse.

But for the scenario I have sketched, it seems to me, that saving the sister has to be the objective goal. After all, his predicament cursed him with a death wish. Her predicament gave him the will to go on living.

Gave = gift. In a sense, he owes her his life. (And if in the backstory, she tried to rescue him from his own abuse, maybe did something that saved his life -- that's a plot plus: he literally owes her.)

Differentiating and working out the relationship between the objective goal and the subjective need is, imho, one of the greatest challenges in fiction writing. Hope I have clarified more than confused. If any of my off-the cuff babbling actually reflects the story you are trying to tell, then I think you have the raw material for a compelling drama. Best wishes.

Curtis 0 pts

Well I was thinking that death was initally his primary goal, but then of course something happens to his sister which makes him redirect..if that makes sense. The story is about me and I have somewhat of a difficult time coming up with a logline, Deborah Gregory is currently editing my Manuscript but I need a great logline to inspire certain investors.