A NASA space drone pilot discovers a mysterious wormhole in space that could lead to preventing the deaths of his family three years previously.
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Where screenwriters learn the form and logline their screen ideas.
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Richiev:
When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)
I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).
CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.
EVENT: He discovers a wormhole.
ACTION: He has to send the drone into the hole.
Wait, what? Why is he a drone pilot? Major McConaughey must get his own ass in the hole. Otherwise what is the big deal about this movie's action?
Richiev:
When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must? (Then tell us what he does about it)
I agree with Richiev. You miss the 3rd element of the logline, the ACTION (see the formula, here).
CHARACTER: a NASA drone pilot.
EVENT: He discovers a wormhole.
ACTION: He has to send the drone into the hole.
Wait, what? Why is he a drone pilot? Major McConaughey must get his own ass in the hole. Otherwise what is the big deal about this movie's action?
"When he discovers a wormhole in space that could prevent the deaths of his family three years prior, a NASA drone pilot must..." (Then tell us what he does about it)