A murdered chess champion challenges heaven to save her brother from becoming her killer?s next victim.

Thanks for your feedback Jean-Marie Mazaleyrat. The hero is still the same and the story is essentially the same; however, the wording seemed to get better feedback on Logline.it. The story is still evolving so any comments you have to share would be very valuable.

thanks Almiiitey,

It's an other trip. Have you changed your hero and and the whole story?

Thanks so much for offering to read the original logline. Here it is:

A murdered teenage girl sacrifices eternity to return as a ghost and protect her brother from becoming her killer?s next victim.

Looking forward to your comments.