A former commercial writer will stop at nothing to prove to his friends that he can stand on his own feet again.

Unconventionally Optimistic. Tv series. Pilot. Comedy.

2 reviews

Adrian524 0 pts

you're right, I'm gonna work on that, thanks for the advice.

Richiev Singularity · 82,714 pts

Adrian, I like the premise, but two things:

One: "Stand on his own two feet" should probably be ramped up a bit. It isn't compelling for a logline. What's his ultimate goal? Write the great American novel? Become the vice president of an advertising company? Win the girl of his dreams? I think adding a little more punch to his goal will help sell the story.

Two: What (or who) is standing in his way? Adding that will help your logline.

I hope that helped, good luck with this!