A drug addict and a businessman come together through their joint love of music, and become increasingly dependant on each other.

Peter and Seth are two people from very different walks of life, a chance meeting and a joint love for music, sends them both on a journey of self discovery.

9 reviews

holbrook99 0 pts

Not been here for a while but here is the updated logline:

A business man and a drug addict form a close bond after a chance meeting, and a mutual love for music. When their usual mundane lives begin to crumble around them, they begin to rely on each other for guidance as they eventually start chasing their dreams.

Opinions?

it52 0 pts

I think that sounds better. It peeks my interest now. I think adding that their mediocre lives crumble around them works. But you could still leave in a drug addict and a businessman, instead of two people. At least we would know more about the characters from their occupation.

I think it's definitely an improvement so great job! I'm curious to know what others think.

holbrook99 0 pts

How about...

"When two people from very different walks of life are brought together through a chance meeting and a mutual love for music, they begin to rely on each other more and more as their usual mediocre lives begin to crumble around them."

it52 0 pts

What me and Nir Shelter are both saying though is that you need to possibly put more info in your logline. What hold ups do they have? That could be presented in the logline.

holbrook99 0 pts

Well once they overcome their individual "hold ups" they eventually open a successfull music venue..The ending however is tragic

Neer Shelter Singularity · 55,464 pts

Could be characters for a sweet story well done on a low budget but needs a clear journey for the dual protagonists. What are they trying to achieve and to what end?

I have seen many a film made on the premise of "character study" but this often doesn't hold enough interest for the audience to secure a release. Good idea at the very least to clarify what they want in the logline, give them a goal, as this will explain to the reader what it is the audience will see the MCs achieve at the end.