Wilde_at_heart

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1 points to Penpusher

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6 reviews

Only one thing stands in the way of Alex and Marissa?s dream wedding: his obsessed ex-girlfriend.

October 30, 2012

on After years of incestual ritualistic abuse, the daughter of one occult patriarch finds herself a well designed pawn in her brilliant fathers? sadistic pursuit of power; using her skills of intertwining seduction and fatal persuasion, she leaves a violent past and exacts her final act of retribution.

Hi, for me the word 'incest' just has that yuck factor and I suspect I'm not alone in that regard. Maybe The daughter of an religious cult's patriarch uses seduction to foil his climb to power and exact her revenge.…
on When an honest policeman's family is kidnapped by a sadistic crime lord, he must murder the chief of police, his father in law, to save his family from being killed

I'd leave out honest, since I'd assume as much unless I was told otherwise. I'd also leave out 'from being killed' since that is often implied in a hostage situation. And I'd leave out sadistic and change it with the…
on A dreaded gangster falls in love with a girl whom he has been sent to kill.

I'd leave out dreaded and replace it with 'assassin' to begin with. Second, a detail about what makes this girl special - what is it about her that would both compel someone to fall in love with her, or why…
on Jaws on the Moors.

While this made me laugh, exactly - it's a tagline. Also, as someone with Yorkshire blood, the idea intrigues me but the Moors are known to be pretty deserted. We need to know who the victims would be - a…
on Hunted by a post-apocalyptic ruling clique, the last survivor of a 21st century longevity experiment must decide whether to destroy the knowledge that had kept him alive for 300 years.

I agree with the above poster, and think that maybe you could just leave it at "The last survivor of a 21st century longevity experiment must decide whether to destroy the knowledge that had kept him alive for 300 years."…
on When the woman he loves is murdered by a cult, an alchemist in 18th Century France, the charismatic Count St Germain, becomes an immortal assassin in a tale of revenge, redemption and adventure.

I'd stop after 'assassin' and leave that latter bit for the pitch letter. He was a fascinating character though. Maybe 'seeks his revenge by becoming an immortal assassin'....

Only one thing stands in the way of Alex and Marissa?s dream wedding: his obsessed ex-girlfriend.