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When two broke musicians witness a gangland massacre, a womanizing saxophonist disguises himself as a woman, joins an all-girl band, and courts its singer.
Sounds good. But also familiar.
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An educated Indian homemaker in Sydney enters a local council election, hoping to reclaim the identity her ambitious daughter no longer sees, while the daughter fights for a director promotion; as both women struggle to be taken seriously, their parallel journeys slowly transform how they see each other.
Morbi leo risus, porta ac consectetur ac, vestibulum at eros. Praesent commodo cursus magna, vel scelerisque nisl consectetur et. Aenean lacinia bibendum nulla sed consectetur. Duis mollis, est non commodo luctus, nisi erat porttitor ligula, eget lacinia odio sem nec…
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When the sole survivor of a destroyed lifeboat is pulled aboard a sinking luxury liner, he is plunged into further chaos as the crew begins to abandon the doomed passengers of the SS Arctic.
Great start! But I expect the story to be about what the sole survivor does in response to the chaos around him. What's the objective, other than surviving? What is his plan? Rather than posting a new logline, write your…
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A socially deprived, true crime obsessed man becomes infatuated with a Jane Doe case, and documents his pathetic attempt at inserting himself in her story by solving the case.
A socially deprived, true crime obsessed man becomes infatuated with a Jane Doe case, and documents his pathetic attempt at inserting himself in her story by solving the case. Great main character in that he has both a flaw and…
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[EDIT] A sheltered American teen, kidnapped by a Bangkok crime lord, is groomed first as his protégé, then as his bride — but when she discovers he was her late mother’s secret lover, she uses his methods to destroy him and seize his empire.
This version of your logline is stronger, but read the methodology of this site again (the "Formula" section above) and use "When" to open with the major event, to clearly signal the story's structure. While the em dash before "but…
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After stealing millions from a ruthless Las Vegas casino empire, two estranged biracial twin brothers flee back to New York hoping to rebuild their lives, only to discover their parents are dead, their childhood home is gone, and the violent syndicate they betrayed is hunting them through a city that no longer has a place for them.
This is a situation; not a story. You have the first sequence of an 8-sequence feature. How will they cope with the situation? What is/are the goal/s that will drive this film? And how do the twins differ in character?…
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After stealing millions from a ruthless Las Vegas casino empire, two estranged biracial twin brothers flee back to New York hoping to rebuild their lives, only to discover their parents are dead, their childhood home is gone, and the violent syndicate they betrayed is hunting them through a city that no longer has a place for them.
This is a situation; not a story. You have the first sequence of an 8-sequence feature. How will they cope with the situation? What is the goal that will drive this film? And how do the twins differ in character?…
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Logline: After killing each other in a muddy ravine on Guadalcanal, a Japanese soldier and an American Marine awaken as unwillingly tethered ghosts and spend decades protecting the grandson born from their families’ impossible union—bickering across wars, cultures, and generations as they search for redemption and peace. Genre: Primary: Historical Fantasy Drama Secondary: War Drama / Supernatural Family Saga
★ Accepted
This is a fresh and highly dramatic premise. Excellent! The two protagonists makes it complex, but not impossible. The structure works: two protagonists, a catalyst, an action, a conflict, a theme. But "unwillingly tethered" is a little clunky as an…
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When the Sheriff of Sweetwater, Mars stumbles on a plan to destroy the town to make room for an illegal worm farm, he and his friends have to defend the town from destruction by a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate.
★ Accepted
The structure works: we know who, what's at stake, who's against him, and what he has to do. Where it gets clunky: "destroy" and "destruction" come back three times in close range, and "destruction by a megalomaniac Soybean Magnate" is…
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An American teen is kidnapped by a Bangkok crime lord, who grooms her first as his protégé and then as his bride. But when she discovers he was her late mother’s his secret lover, she uses his methods to destroy him and seize his empire.
The logline runs 54 words across two sentences, which works quite well for the longer-logline shape with a Mid Point Reversal, where "But when" marks the MPR turn. I would even consider rolling it into one sentence. But that's personal…
