jkcantwell

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• on A lonely middle aged autistic man's painful journey to spread wings and not slip into a made up fantasy world – after beloved parents violently die in a car accident of his doing.

  I like the concept and there's much you can explore with autism. Perhaps tidy up the section after the hyphen and perhaps put it first as the inciting incident? "When his beloved parents die in a car accident he caused,…

• on During the old world, an aged magician and her two young proteges march into the depths of the underworld to make a deal with Death using the ultimate bargaining chip, an immortal man.

  The question I immediately have is, why do they need to make a deal with Death? What's the inciting incident? Also, is "During" the right word to start with? Usually people use 'during' for something that is reasonably time-limited, but…